Jen Murray

On Fire- A God Moment

2011-07-11T21:50:00.002-04:00

God is so amazing! All the time, but it just hit me like a wave...

Coming back from Haiti and re-entering my normal life has been a challenge. My team and I have been back for 17 days and I'm struggling with unrest in my spirit. I'm committed to seek God about it and through it, but the day to day stuff is still difficult.

Tonight, I was on the phone with my sister, then my brother. I was telling them both a little about how I'm feeling. (I know I sound messed up when I get tag-team calls from them.) One of the last things my brother said to me was "Don't forget how many people you impact, that to them it's important what you've done. You might not think it was anything, but you really help people." My non-emotional response was something like "Yeah, I know."

Moments later, as I was ending the call with my brother David, I got a text. It said "You rock."

This simple gesture brought me to tears. God used a member of Southbrook to encourage me. This man has done this before for me, lifting me up when I am discouraged. His and God's timing could not have been more perfect. The tears kept coming as "On Fire" by Switchfoot came on my iPod. (I'll just say it- I was a bit of a mess for several minutes.)

How amazing is God?- to know what I needed before I knew what to ask for and to provide it within moments of me realizing my need. Tonight I was overcome with gratitude for who God is and a renewed appreciation for how he works.

This was a huge God moment for me. I haven't blogged in a long time, but I couldn't not share. I believe that all Christ followers have encounters with God, I call them God moments. He reveals some aspect of Himself, His will, or His truth to us and it stops us dead in our tracks. My experience could not have been more powerful, small as it may seem to some. It's mine though, and it has affected me greatly.

I pray that as we seek God, we can have eyes to see Him.

That made my day!

2010-06-13T22:22:00.003-04:00

- I probably wouldn't read this post if I was me b/c I don't read long blogs, but whatever. Make a cup of coffee and hunker down.

I don't actually know why I am so happy about this (I probably have pride issues), but it has put a smile on my face and it's not going away. I was having dinner tonight with my friend Christy and her younger cousin Hannah at Brixx Pizza. Conversation happening, etc., etc.- fast forward to the good part...

Christy says to me "Hannah goes to (the high school I used to teach at)... Hannah took art this year... Jen used to teach art there." That's when her cousin says something like "Oh, that's you? People talk about you there. All the students miss you. They say you were the best art teacher. Yeah, I heard you gave them a lot of work and were tough, but they respected you because they learned a lot. They still talk about you."

My jaw hit the table and I started the grand inquiry. "Really!?! Wow. I never thought they would miss me. Blah, blah, blah." I couldn't shut up about it and I definitely can't stop thinking about it. I was completely floored!

That is the best compliment I have ever received. Now, don't get me wrong. There are plenty of students that came through my classroom, punched the time clock (so to speak), and went on their way. There was many times when I would ask myself what was I doing this job for? Did it really matter? Was it worth all the frustration? Now I know- yes. Yes it was worth it, yes it mattered to some people.

I've had it in the back of my mind for years that I was really working for God, not a principal or dept. chair. (That has helped me do great at some not so great jobs.) But I now realize that I missed an opportunity to see a light in my workplace to my fellow teachers, but to know that I was able to positively affect a few students- that is priceless. It's nice to be missed, but that I was respected... I don't have the words. I never tried to be their friend, and I would tell them that- "I'm not your friend, I'm your teacher." I might have even said "I don't care if you like me."

I used to question the way I taught and I would come to the conclusion that I couldn't do it any other way. It was who I was and how I was. Being that laissez-faire, look the other way teacher was not me; I was all about the business (example-I labeled all the drawers and cabinets meticulously). I am reminded, even now in my present situations, that God made me a certain way, and to try to be something different is a waste of time.

Short story- long: I hope you get the encouragement you need to keep charging up whatever hill God has placed you on.

Things I've Been Chewing On

2010-05-19T19:30:00.003-04:00

One of the books I am currently reading was recommended by my pastor during a recent mid-week service at church. "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby has been awesome so far. Here are some of the things that are still lingering upstairs:

It is one thing to believe in God's power, it is quite another to live your life in obedient response to an all-powerful God.
God calls you into a relationship in which He is Lord- where you are willing to do and be anything He chooses.
"Where I am, there My servant also will be." John 12:26
When you offer yourself to God as His servant, He first expects to shape you into the instrument of His choosing. He will always work in you before He works through you.

That last one especially has been very real for me recently. (Raise your hand if you think God is currently shaping you and refining you through life circumstances and relationships...) You are such a LIAR!! Raise your hand right now. God loves us too much to leave us just where we are, just as we are.

There's way more highlight-worthy tidbits in there, so just go ahead and get the book. -JM

LifeGroup (cont'd)

2010-04-20T22:54:00.005-04:00

"It's raining outside, therefore it must be Tuesday and time for small group." That is the running joke among our group. It seems like more Tuesdays than not, it rains. No one really cares, but it is uncanny that right around the 7 o'clock hour, the cold wet stuff starts coming down and my peeps start coming through my front door.

We had another great time together. Not only are we going through a book together that is really speaking to each of us, but we set time aside tonight specifically to pray together. Tonight was the third of four 'special' gatherings. During the first week of IMPACT, we were challenged to fellowship together (a.k.a hang out), celebrate communion together, pray together, and to serve together. A month ago we all went to Dave and Buster's and got our fill of video games and skee ball. I spent $20 and through all my toil and display of useless skill, I walked out with Spree candy. (It' all good- I'm not competitive. I only really cared when I left the candy in the car and it melted.) Two weeks ago we had communion together and a time of worship time led by one of our very own.

Tonight we prayed for almost 45 minutes for our pastor, our church, missionaries over seas, and the concerns in our own lives. The person leading prayer had looked up several Scripture verses, some of which reminded us that the Holy Spirit prays for us, we should pray without ceasing, and God does hear our prayers. I especially loved hearing people pray that wouldn't normally have done so.

In another two weeks, we will be serving together. Maybe it will be within Southbrook, maybe through one of the organizations we partner with, or who knows, maybe something totally unexpected. It doesn't ultimately matter what we do. God will give the person leading that project a great opportunity. My group will serve side by side and get to know each other's hearts even more in the process. It is amazing how quickly you become unified and of one mind when you are working toward a common goal.

We are going to continue these special activities every couple of weeks and I can't wait to see how God continues to grow and shape our group.

I encourage every believer to find and invest in a smaller group of people. This LifeGroup (people living life together) has so much to offer- friendship, encouragement, comfort, accountability, etc. I was one of those people that warmed a seat in my church every Sunday for many years. God has used my involvement in my LifeGroup to challenge and refine me and I hope that never changes.

The IMPACT of my LifeGroup

2010-03-02T20:42:00.005-05:00

We can all look back over our lives, the recent or the long ago, and pick out choices, decisions, events, etc. that have influenced us and the person that we are today. In my own life, I've had positive and negative experiences that I look back on and now realize that they have affected me in a way that left me changed.

my parent's divorce
choosing a relationship with Jesus vs. religion when I was 19
moving from MI to NC (to name a few)

This Sunday at church, we looked back over the last 10 years of the church and Pastor Rob challenged the people of Southbrook to join a LifeGroup (a.k.a- small group, home group- basically a smaller group of people to do life with). I emailed the group leaders to get feedback on the LifeGroup fair that happened at the end of service and I asked them for stories of life change because of their group.

I realized that I have a story- I have been changed forever because of my LifeGroup:

When I moved here from Michigan after graduating college, I left a great church behind- at least, I think it was great. I don't actually know for sure, because I never got involved or met anyone. I sat in service every Sunday, enjoyed the worship and teaching, but then went home. I would stand around and have a donut and coffee, but only ever talked to my mom and sister. I don't actually know what I had missed. I told myself that I was too busy going to college full time and working full time to get involved. Yeah, I did have a lot going on, but they were just really good excuses for my priorities being out of whack.

I found Southbrook after checking out a couple of other churches. That 'at home' feeling settled in on my second visit, after talking to a First Impressions volunteer. I prayed about letting it be different this time. The fresh start was still there for me, I knew there was more than just the weekend service.

Something many of my Charlotte friends don't know about me is that I used to be very shy and introverted. I prayed so hard for God to give me the guts to try and meet some people at what would become my church home for the past five and a half years. I was introduced to a gal my age, who was actually on staff, and she invited me to her home group. I went, after psyching myself into it. I literally had to give myself a pep talk in the car just so I would go up to the front door (not to mention I was late from getting lost).

That first night was just the beginning of a group that would grow and change over the next few years...

Summer of Jesus | Week 2

2009-07-24T12:57:00.003-04:00

– lots of stuff, it’s a big one!

(Summer of Jesus is my home group's study. It will definitely take us longer than just the summer to get through. I am sharing parts of what we discuss and mostly my thoughts and observations. I am not a scholar or Bible teacher, just a regular person, studying the Word with other Christ-followers, and trying to apply Jesus' teachings to my own life)

Fishermen- Matt 4:18-22, Mark 1:16-20, Luke 5:1-11

Matthew
· Jesus called the men in the midst of their regular lives. He didn’t come convince or paint a picture for them, he just said “come.”
· Jesus used common people to come along side him, they had no special skills that made them qualified. I am not specially skilled or qualified, just willing to be used.

Mark

· James and John had to leave their father and their jobs/security. Could Jesus ask me to leave something good in order to get something better? Where the men were was good, but they were able to ultimately grow closer to Jesus because they were obedient to his calling.

Luke

· People were listening to the Word being preached (crowds were pressing in, possibly to their own discomfort.) One of Kelly's biggest takeaways from her Peru missions trip is the fact that the people would walk for a day(s), possibly in the rain, stand/sit in filth, just to hear the Word preached. We complain about having to get up at 9 to come to our nice, cushy worship service on Sunday morning. We take for granted the 5 Bibles we have sitting on our shelves.
· Jesus asked Peter (Simon) to use what he had, his boats, to help him in preaching. What do I have that can be used to help in Jesus' mission?
· Jesus had to press Peter to go further to get the “catch” Jesus had for him. I should expect my pastor to push and challenge me.
· Peter hesitates even though he is given a direct command, but is eventually obedient. Peter was already working hard. Even though he was hard at work, Peter offered to do more if that is what Jesus wanted. I sometimes rest, thinking that I have done enough, but I need to have Peter's attitude of offering to do more. He is humbled at Jesus’ faithfulness and struck with awe.

The First Disciples - John 1:35-51

· John was with his disciples, spending time with them, investing in them. I am so busy sometimes, I forget that it takes time to reach people for Jesus. Relationships take time and energy.
· John has a leadership role and faithfully executes that by pointing his followers to Jesus. He was replicating himself by way of his disciples.
· Jesus looked around to see who was following him; He asks them what they are looking for?
· “Are you on the right track?” “What do you want from Jesus/God/the church/the leader?”
· Jesus tells them to “come and see.”
· The men thought “What do I need to do to be near where You are?” They continued to spend time with Jesus. What am I willing to do to be where Jesus is?
· Andrew went and found his brother (who was close to him) first and brought him. I am blessed that the people in my immediate family are already believers. I hope that my heart would be burdened for them if they were not.
· When you meet Jesus, you will be changed (like Simon being called Peter after he met Jesus.)
· Jesus finds Phillip (He draws people to himself). Believers bring non-believers to Him. I live in a Christian bubble. Who do I know that I could invite to church/to know Jesus?
· Phillip was a new believer who sought to bring in other new people RIGHT AWAY. Phillip looked to bring Nathaniel.
· Nathaniel’s initial response is doubt and skepticism. Jesus handled him and his question! He can take it. (v.46)
· Jesus knows us and our heart/character before we ever attempt to come near him. (v.47)
· Jesus saw the men right where they were. Could Jesus use me to be a ‘Phillip’ to a ‘Nathaniel’?
· Jesus does question their belief in him. “Do you have real faith in me?” What if he or has he asked me at some point to affirm my faith in him?
· He promises that we will see the great things of heaven!
· Jesus had prior contact with the men before he called them to be full-time disciples. There was some kind of initial surface relationship to build on. There was a ‘check it out’ mentality.

· The Gospel of John is focused on his ministry to his disciples, and focuses on contacts with individuals and on private conversations.
· The Gospels are not biographies; there was a larger pool of info that the writers had to draw from. They chose what to include based on what served the specific purpose God had for them (Matthew- written to the Jews, shows that Jesus is the Messiah, Mark- written to foreign Gentiles (non-Jews) living outside their immediate area to show God’s Son in action (the miracles), Luke- written to Gentiles to show that Jesus is the savior of all mankind, and John- written to all people focusing more on what Jesus said, not what he did.

Water Into Wine- John 2:1-11

· The wedding was a common event that was used to give Jesus glory.
· Jesus starts by stating that the current problem was not necessarily theirs to deal with. Do we have to decide what is truly our issue to get involved with?
· Mary was certain that Jesus would “fix” things. Proud mama, I think.
· The best wine was reserved ‘til last- Jesus was revealed later. God’s best for us is yet to be revealed!

Summer of Jesus | Week 1

2009-07-13T21:40:00.003-04:00

John Baptizes Jesus
Mk 1:9-11, Lk 3:21-22, Mt 3:13-17, Jn 1:29-34

Jesus models what we are supposed to do when we accept Him as Lord and Savior.

Some people believe that you only receive the Holy Spirit when you are baptized, so they might think that the act saves them.

Jesus’ Temptation in the Desert
Mk 1:12-13, Mt 4:1-11, Lk 4:1-13

Jesus was being obedient to the immediate calling of the Holy Spirit. Jesus being obedient was leading him to a temptation.

Satan tempted Jesus when he was weak and isolated. After Jesus resists him, Satan then waits fro the next opportune time to attack him.

Satan uses what will possibly work to tempt; in this case, he uses the Scriptures to turn God’s own words against him.

Satan knows what will work on us, he can use the good things of God.

Jesus stands up to Satan by using Scripture as a defense.

We are told in Mt 26:39 to keep watch (be mindful, prepared, and ready) and to pray (communion w/God and God strengthening us SO THAT we are able to stand up, and as Jesus models, he “sticks it” to Satan by quoting Scripture to him.

Satan is compared to a lion (1 Pt 5:8-10). He prowls around waiting to attack. Real lions stalk their prey; their end game is not just to wound but you but to rip you apart and kill you. Lions look to attack the young, the weak, and those are already wounded and hurt.

What is "The Summer of Jesus"?

2009-07-13T20:35:00.001-04:00

ahh... and so I'm back. There is just too much to share. I do not promise to write everyday, every week, or every month. Busyness is the black plague of our time and I am just as susceptible as the next person. However, since my home group has begun our current Bible study series, I have thought so many times "I should resurrect the blog." I am not a Bible scholar or teacher, but over the past year, I have learned that I don't have to be. The only thing necessary for any Christ follower to do is to pray that the Holy Spirit will teach you and reveal things to you when reading the Word. So any haters who will attempt to give me a hard time about my irregularity of posting, here is a preemptive talk to the hand!
My pastor said that one should blog for himself and not to please others. So hear we go- constructive, positive feedback is welcome, and suggestions for blog topics down the road could be interesting...

Thank you

2008-09-07T20:02:00.004-04:00

I owe a debt of gratitude and thanks to everyone who has been praying for me and supporting me since mid- August. I would not have made it this far without my family and friends showering me with love and encouragement.

I had gastric bypass surgery on the 14th of August. It was something I had been thinking and praying about since last October. The sugery went well, but my initial recovery was very difficult. In the past week and a half, I have come a long way. I am returning to more normal activities, but am usually wiped out at mid- day. I know that healing takes time, so I am trying to be patient and not try to rush things.

This process and total life changes has definitely brought me to my knees before God. I praise Him for giving me hope and comfort, as well as blessing me with exactly the people I would need to help me get through this and grow through this.

I especially want to thank my mom who came from MI to take care of me. She was and is my rock and my soft place. I love you mom!

My Brand New Baby Niece

2008-07-23T10:51:00.004-04:00

This past Sunday, I had the chance to meet my neice for the first time. It was love at first sight. Cali Theresa Efird is the most precious thing in the world. I look forward to watching her grow and being part of her life. I had some major baby envy goin' on. Thank goodness I can live vicariously through other people.

Baptism @ the Brook

2008-05-05T19:34:00.007-04:00

This weekend was another awesome time at Southbrook Church. I got to serve on the First Impressions team and was asked to take pictures during the baptisms.

It was so good to hear Clayton King preach- he hasn't been in a while. I only wish he could have spoken longer. He always has the best stories to tell! (And if you didn't know- he tells different ones at every service. You have to go to them all.)

This is one of my favorite pictures. The expression on the girl's face is priceless. She is smiling, glowing really, as she emerges from the water. And doesn't Pastor Daryl look cool sporting his Southbrook shirt with the new logo?

I think its fun to worship in different environments, like outside. Return always does an awesome job at leading us. I felt bad for guests and non-regular attenders. There was no screen to display the lyrics, so people didn't really participate much. People didn't even stand up! What's up with that? I was clapping and singing all over the place.

Overall, the weekend was a huge success. Many believers chose to take the next step in their spiritual journey by publicly proclaiming their faith in Jesus Christ. And hopefully that is not the last thing they step up to do. There are many small groups and service opportunities to be looked into. If you were at the 11:30 service, you got to hear part of a story about a soldier who was captured in Iraq 6 months ago, regained his freedom 3 months ago, and got baptised in our pool yesterday. Check out Pastor Rob's blog for a more complete story.

My only cause for concern during this baptism blowout was the pool attendant. Why is he so grumpy and tired looking? I see this die hard Yankee fan always working, cleaning something, greeting someone, and hollering at the kids to keep their paws off the glass doors. SOMEBODY GET HIM SOME HAPPY PILLS!

Just Kidding! Ron is my boy.

We all need to pray that he finds someone to fill the open facilities position soon. He works all the time- no wonder he doesn't have the energy to smile. He's been working like a dog for a while now.

I'm Concerned

2008-04-06T19:24:00.004-04:00

<----(This is the book- no bueno people!)

Hey blog readers, A friend told me about a recent YouTube video that she saw. It was about Oprah and a new book that she is promoting. I am not usually one for rumor mills or over reaction, but I am concerned. I decided to watch this video for myself. It was called “Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid.” That led me to check out video from her show and an online class that she co-hosts with the author of “A New Earth.” Not only am I worried about the lies and half truths that are being spoken, but the immense number of people that are listening to and buying into this new belief system. I am glad however, that there seem to be real Christ followers picking up on this and responding online with Scripture verses. I almost want to read this book to see how bad it is and be informed on what people are buying into, but I am afraid it will pollute my mind and spirit.

I don’t want to comment too much, because I am just skimming the surface of this topic. What I saw and heard grieved my heart for the people that were searching for something. Unfortunately, the biggest, loudest voice that responded to their questions was Oprah, who calls herself a ”liberal Christian” in one of the web class videos, then goes on to say that Jesus is not the only way to God, that the world is too big to believe that.

-Lord, Thank you for the gift of your Son, and your Spirit. Thank you that my parents told me about you before I turned to the world for answers. Thank you for Southbrook and for Pastor Rob, who speaks the truth. Please continue to keep watch over your sheep who are being led astray by this propaganda and help them to recognize the one true Shepherd and Savior. Amen

PS- Rob's message was awesome this weekend! You should download the podcast off iTunes if you missed it.

One Month to Live

2008-03-17T17:46:00.003-04:00

Hey blog readers-
I'm trying to make a comeback, I really am. This upcoming series will give me a good chance to share my thoughts and reactions to what's covered. Please check out this video from Jay, our Home Groups Director at Southbrook. I love Jay dearly- he's such a cornball! He must be getting sick, at the begining he sounds like he's trying to do the Godfather.

Until next time...

A New Church is Born

2008-03-16T17:25:00.002-04:00

This morning I got to go back in time, well sort of. I visited a church called Centre Pointe with some friends who had recently started going there. I felt like I had traveled back about 6-7 years to the beginnings of Southbrook. I was not there for the launch of my church, but I got to witness the start of something great. This “baby” church is in Locust, NC and meets in an elementary school. When my best friend was telling me all about it, I could hear the excitement in her voice.

She and her husband have been looking for a church home for some time. They needed to find a place that was their choice, not their parents or friends, and a place where they felt called by God to be. The location for CP is great because as far as I know, there is nothing like it out in that rural part of Stanly County. Through my friend, I have had glimpses into status quo churches and people acting religious on one day then the opposite the next. This pastor and the church will have to combat a lot of old school thinking and people set in their ways- what else is new?

This church is anything but status quo. After the first time they went to CP, I could tell that they connected to something there. They were amazed at the friendliness of the people, the welcoming atmosphere, and awesome worship and preaching. I get that every week at SB, which I am very grateful for.

This morning, the big launch consisted of a set up that was 1/3 smaller than our video café, and it was filled about 80%, and probably with some people just checking it out in response to a mailer that was sent out. Despite CP’s humble beginnings, I felt the Holy Spirit moving in that place. The pastor obviously has a vision to reach people in the community where they are at.

I confess I felt like I was watching a new chick hatch out of its egg this morning. It was so fluffy and new and little. I just wanted to take care of it and show it how to grow up. But that is not my place. It is for God to decide and guide how big the church will get or how small it will stay. It is for that body to pray, invite, and strain to see God’s will be done.

Whenever I experience other churches, it always reminds me how blessed I am to be connect to Southbrook. I wish everyone could come here, but whatever church believers attend, we are all the body, all the Bride of Christ.

Happy Valentines's Day

2008-02-14T16:32:00.001-05:00

I know, you're saying "what is she taking about? It's not a happy day- I'm single. Its just a Hallmark holiday anyway." Well, that may be true, hey, this is the world we live in. I know that for the past 2 weeks, I have been bombarded by pink cupcakes at Harris Teeter, fake roses at the gas station, and obnoxious balloons everywhere else.

I also have seen a lot of the outward expressions of love today at the high school where I teach. The teenagers are sooo in love with their current love interest, they don't see 5 or 10+ years into their own futures. They are all so sure they are going to be with their boy/girlfriend FOREVER! We all have some years behind us since our own school days, and hopefully we have a better idea of what REAL love is.

In my own spiritual walk and growth as a person, I have struggled to understand and accept love from various people. I still struggle to this day with this topic. I always come back to this passage in Romans to remind me what true, selfless, self-sacrificing love is: the love of our Creator and Savior.

Romans 8:38-39 (New Living Translation)
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-Talk about FOREVER!

Today, I am going to think about the love of my Savior, the love I have from and feel for my family, and the love I have for my friends. I hope you will do the same.
I LOVE YOU ALL, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST!

A Post I Just Discovered from a Friend

2007-12-30T10:03:00.000-05:00

Guest Blogger Christy Collins (from her myspace blog- Aug 29, 2007)

Every now and then something happens and I can't hold it in any longer. I just bubble over and there's no stopping it. Tonight was one of those nights. You see, the last Wednesday of every month at my church, Southbrook, is a Night of Worship. (I'm gonna brag about the worship just a little...) they are AMAZING!! All of them are extremely talented musicians, but not only that, they know how bring you into God's presence. Especially on nights like tonight. It's so easy to sit in church and sing the songs and pray the prayers and go through the motions. Scripture tells us that wherever 2 or more are gathered, God's presence is there, but sometimes it just doesn't feel that way. Tonight I felt God's presence more than I have in a long time.

In my Bible study we have been studying Romans. Paul spends the first 3 chapters explaining how horrible we are as humans. How we are constantly letting God down and turning our backs on him. We are these awful, filthy, disgusting people, but God never fails to pick us up and hold us and give us one more chance. I know it sounds like the cliche christian thing to say, but God sent His only son to die for us. He sacrificed Himself on the cross to pay our debt. We came up with this analogy... it's like we are on trial for an incredibly awful deed, like rape or murder. And God is both the victim and the judge. Instead of just forgiving us and then sentencing us, He not only forgives us, but let's us go and tells us to come live with Him forever. Who does that!?! No one!! That's the point. God did what no one on earth would, or could, ever do. Tonight this point came into even more focus than before. It's not that we are unworthy, but rather we are so incredibly special that God can't stand not being with us.

When we finally realize the extent of God's grace, the result is the desire to follow Him wherever He may lead us. For me that was Waxhaw, North Carolina. Why oh why did I move here? I used to think it was because it was time to grow up and start a business. When I visited over a year ago, North Carolina made sense. I thought I was here to start my future. But tonight I realized something different. I realized I don't know why I'm here. When God shines the light on our path, He shines it right at our feet. He doesn't show us the whole path. He doesn't even show us 5 steps down the path! While I don't know the whole reason why I'm here, I do know part of the reason I'm here. God placed me in this state, in this city, in this business, in this house, in this circle of friends for one specific reason: to be me. And in being me, I am meant to trust Him...to follow Him... and to help others follow Him however that looks. Sometimes it's taking a walk and listening to another's stresses. Sometimes it's dropping an encouraging word. Sometimes it's providing insight into a situation. And other times it is simply being a friend. Being someone to fill the empty space and keep you company.

I'm not anyone special in the view of society. I'm just Christy. But I am someone special to God and He has a special purpose for me. Like I said before, we don't get to know that purpose and that's okay. In the recent past a local fire fighter died in the line of duty. People call him a hero and they are right, but not just because he was a fire fighter. He's a hero because his life, and his death, brought people to the Lord and that to me is a true hero. We are only human. I've heard it said many times before that God doesn't need us. He doesn't have to use us for his perfect plan, but He chooses to. Wow! Why would anyone choose me? Because He loves me and desires my company. He WANTS to spend time with me and wants me to share in His joy.

Tonight I was overcome with gratitude and awe at the gift of grace God has given to me. Not just to me, but to all of us. I started this by talking about worship and I'm going to end it the same way. Music has such power. A simple song can move us in ways we never thought possible. Each time the band sang a new song I was touched. It seemed like every word they sang was exactly what I needed to hear, like it was God speaking to me through the lyrics. I realize that you all weren't there tonight so these words may not touch you like they touched me, but I hope they will at least make you stop and think.

"Lord I want to yearn for you. I want to burn with passion over you. And only you."

"I was carried to the table, seated where I don't belong. Carried to the table, swept away by His love. And I don't see my brokenness anymore, when I'm seated at the table. I'm carried to the table, the table of the Lord."

"And all that I can do is just fall. It's the appropriate response to your call. I'm face down at the cross. I crawl. All that I can do is just fall."

Highlights from the Book of Acts

2007-12-24T09:33:00.000-05:00

1:8- “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere… to the ends of the earth.”

2:40 – “Save yourselves from this wicked generation.”

2:42- All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teachings, and to fellowship, and to sharing meals, and to prayer.

3:6 a,b- Peter said “I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have.”

3:19,20- Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence pf the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah.

4:8- Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them…

4:13- The members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures.

4:29- O Lord, hear their threats, and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your Word.

4:32- And the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had.

12:23- Instantly, an angel of the Lord struck Herod with a sickness, because he accepted the people’s worship instead of giving glory to God.

14:22- (Paul and Barnabas returning to Antioch) they strengthened the believers. They encouraged them to continue in the faith, reminding them that we must suffer many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God.

I didn't always use SOAP like Pastor Geoffrey suggested, but I definitely got some insights from Acts. For example, the Holy Spirit will give us power to do things that we might not have done if relying on our own human strength. The entire book is also a testament to the obedience of the apostles. Despite overwhelming odds, the men were relentless in their journey and took time for everyone along the way. They didn't get so tunnel vision for their purpose that they forgot to care for those in their immediate path.

See you at the Brook later!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-22T23:31:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays from my Home Group to yours.

Thanks blog readers for not giving up on me. Hopefully my break from school will give me a chance to catch up on my blogging. See you this weekend at Southbrook.

2007-12-10T21:51:00.000-05:00

I'd like to give a shout out to my friend Patrick VanBuskirk, and his baby and his baby mama, Christy! We need 20 more people like him @Southbrook. First and foremost, he reads my blog. Also, he leads a home group, serves on First Impressions, and is part of the Prayer Ministry. I think he even has a regular job.

Serving with Your Friends

2007-11-27T08:46:00.000-05:00

I had never volunteered with Habitat for Humanity until about a month ago. I had been looking for a regular service opportunity for myself and my home group. My friend Manny Rosado has volunteered with H4H in Lake Norman for some time and I started asking him about it. He got me the name of the big cheese in Union Co. and the rest is recent history. I don’t even know anything about building houses; between you, me, and the wall, I don’t even do things like paint walls neatly. That’s ok with them. I just thought the idea sounded cool. When our group showed up bright and early on that Sat. morning, we didn’t really know what to expect. Doug, the site manager, gave us all jobs and showed us what to do. With the help of some teenage volunteers and Russ Spinney (Kelly’s dad from the video at church about the $1G), we got a lot done. The roof was on and tar papered, the exterior insulation was finished, we Tyvek wrapped the house, and I got to help install hurricane clips.

I haven’t had a hard day of physical labor like that in a long time. My hand was cramping into a claw shape from swinging that hammer. Needless to say, I slept well that night. It also goes without saying- even though I’m saying- there are a ridiculous amount of pictures to document the occasion.

I went back 2 Saturday's ago, alone. It wasn’t as much “fun” though. Don’t get me wrong, I am entirely glad I went. I got to work with Doug again and the 2 electricians who were wiring the house. Those guys were so funny! The one guy talks like he is from the deep swamp of Louisiana (like that one character in The Waterboy- the one you can’t understand). Fun was an added bonus last time, but it gives such a great feeling to know I was helping someone who desperately needs a home. Give me any project to tackle and I would rather do it with my friends than go it alone. I'm going with my group again this Saturday; who knows what we'll be doing...

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Ecc 4:9-10 NLT

I would encourage everyone, small group or not, to find a way to serve in your community. You get the chance to meet new people and possibly share Jesus with them. One of the best parts of serving is that for that period of time, the world stops revolving around you (I must decrease) and it about reaching out to others (He must increase). John 3:30.

BE SATISFIED WITH ME

2007-11-23T16:02:00.000-05:00

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone,
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with Me alone,
Exclusive of anyone or anything else
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
One that you cannot imagine.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait. That's all.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at the things you think you want;
You just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any of you could dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly. I AM God. Believe it and be satisfied.

~St. Anthony of Pauda~

Insufficient Worship

2007-11-19T05:00:00.000-05:00

One of my personal habits is to blast worship music in my car on the way to Saturday night service at Southbrook. I sing like an idiot all the way there (20 min). I usually listen to Chris Tomlin or Charlie Hall. I actually got to see Chris Tomlin lead worship at Cricket arena this past Tues. night- pretty cool. This weekend while I was driving, I had a heart humbling revelation. I was kind of dreaming about what it will be like to one day be with Jesus and what it will feel like to worship Him in heaven. I realized that as much as I get jazzed up about our earthly version of musical worship, how awesome will it be to sing with angels and the entire bride of Christ in unison? The Holy Spirit said in my heart “you don’t even have a clue...”

I have such admiration for worship leaders and song writers. They have a way of putting into words and music the things on my mind and in my heart I didn’t even realize I wanted to shout to God. As God inspired as their words are, we can not even begin to imagine what it will be like on the day He calls us home.

Some of my favorite lyrics from Chris Tomlin are:
“I can sing with my last breath, sing for I know, that I’ll sing with the angels as we dance around the throne.”
“Darkness tries to hide… and trembles at His voice.”
“You see the depths of my heart, and You love me the same.”

Don’t forget to check out Pastor Rob’s blog!

Churches are Going to Have to Close Their Doors

2007-11-18T17:16:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: I am about to rant.

So I’m not a very politically oriented person. My bubble is pretty small. I grew up attending Catholic church, so I am familiar with organized religion, somewhat. After moving down to Charlotte, I realized that people are very concerned with what denomination you are as a Christian. In my mind, I’m like “It’s all just God and Jesus and the Bible; what’s the difference?”
Here’s the difference: I happened to glance at a newspaper this week and was caught by the headline saying that a Baptist church in Myers Park had been kicked out of the “Baptist Club” for welcoming gays into their church. HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE! It is now a bad thing to invite gays to church? That doesn’t sound like something Jesus would have voted for.
What is the basic difference between myself, or anyone for that matter, and a gay person? The answer is: we don’t usually wear our sin on our sleeve. Maybe we need to start asking individuals at the door at church if they are a sinner. If they say yes, we must promptly tell them they are not welcome.
At that rate, churches would have to start closing their doors. The pastors, greeters, child care workers, and all other human beings would have to be turned away. Anyone that said no, they weren’t a sinner would clearly be lying.
I don’t understand what goes on behind closed doors of church denomination meetings, and at this rate, I don’t want to know. I am so thankful that Southbrook Church is a place where all people, no matter their sin status, can come and be accepted, ministered to, and be shown the love of Christ. Pastor Rob has always made it very clear that we are that type of church, thank God.

I Lay My Pride at Your Feet

2007-11-05T15:38:00.000-05:00

Guest blogger- Kelly Spinney
I have been going to Southbrook for a little over a year now and last weekend (10-28-07) was the best weekend I have had at the church. Thanks to my small group and the leadership of Jen, I had many opportunities to help serve. For most of Saturday and Sunday I was at the church doing something to help make the weekend a success. I can not explain how much fun I truly had.
The biggest challenge I faced was when Pastor Paul placed me as one of the greeters that had to be all the way up front encouraging people to sit as close to the stage as possible. If you know me at all, you know that I do not do things that are up front! I believe that I spend most of my time finding ways to help out that require the least amount of public exposure. I am controlled by my fear of people and the way they perceive me. Sadly, I tend to let this fear dictate what I will and will not do. It is easier for me to avoid the situations that invoke my fear instead of facing them head on. I avoid admitting my fear for what it truly is, pride.
So, the last place I wanted to be was the place they put me. I looked at my dad and asked him, “How am I going to do this?” There was my problem… I wasn’t going to do this. I had to give my fear to God and let him strengthen me to do the job ahead. I had to lay my pride at his feet.
By God’s strength I got through the day and ended up having the time of my life! It felt so good to rely on God and serve Him at the same time. I look forward to serving again and leaning on Him to lead me out of my comfort zone one step at a time.
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:11

Happy Birthday Alison!

2007-11-02T09:50:00.000-04:00

My sister Alison is turning 24 on Friday.

I love you, babe!

Gotta Represent

2007-10-31T09:51:00.000-04:00

Someone asked me this week “How many singles are there at Southbrook?” I said “Six or so. I don’t really know.” The truth is: I know there are single people attending, there has to be. Hey, that’s ok. I am happy be one of the few to “keep it real” and “represent” in a swarming sea of married people and families.

[Sidenote: Perry Noble has a few things to say to single guys and single gals. There is a lot of good reading on the subject too. Check out Joshua Harris’s Boy Meets Girl, then go back and read I Kissed Dating Goodbye.]

I have struggled with my singleness for a long time. It still occupies some of my thoughts. I used to think I was not complete unless I had a significant other. Through some ups and downs, I have finally allowed Jesus to fill the place in my heart and life. Another person will never give purpose to my life. A man/boyfriend/husband type person cannot make me happy. God has shown me that my time as a single person is the perfect opportunity to serve. Whether that is another year or two, or twenty, it doesn't matter. It's a blessing. I don’t have a spouse or kids to keep me running around.

[Sidenote 2: Pastor Rob said to the single guys at church “it’s not that difficult. Look around and find a wife.” I have to disagree with him on that point. It’s not that easy to get meet Mr. or Ms. Right. (I think I heard an Amen! from the back row…)]

Serving with others has so many benefits:1- answering the Biblical charge to take care of others, 2- meet new people and develop relationships with them, 3- opportunities to share Christ, and 4- it’s just plain fun!

I am looking forward to starting to serve with Union County Habitat for Humanity. You can be sure to hear about it in the near future.

Feel free to share your insights on singleness, serving, keepin’ it real…

God's Beautiful Creation

2007-10-25T09:24:00.000-04:00

I am constantly reminded of how awesome God is by his living creation. We are so blessed that our Creator is such a masterful artist. He gives all creativity, imagination, and appreciation, not to mention the senses we use to appreciate His works. This picture was taken at one of my stops along the way of the Blue Ridge Parkway last weekend. It was my first time to the mountains since I have lived here, and I'm definitely going back again (just not on an App. game day).

Hospitals are for Old People, Right?

2007-10-25T08:41:00.000-04:00

Those events in our lives that propel us into adulthood are coming more frequently in my life than they used to and I don’t like it. It’s not that I don’t want to get older (I mean I don’t but that is not the point), but I don’t want to do the things that adults have to do.

I have been dealing with my best friend lately who has been going through an ordeal with her husband. He has a heart condition that has recently had him in and out of the hospital. This morning (Wed.) the surgeons at CMC repaired a hole in his heart. I am out of my league here. I don’t know how to be helpful without sounding trite, saying things like “give it to God.” There is nothing I can do to help my friend or her in-laws.

When this all started about 6 weeks ago, I didn’t really know what to do then either. I could run errands, be there for support, call family, etc. Through the process that I was minimally involved in, I found myself being impatient and critical. I was and still am unable to understand the range of emotions that these people are going through. I am not married and no one in my family has ever been unexpectedly sick or even in the hospital. I have had things in that regard pretty smooth. I watch my friend, who has anxiety issues to begin with, not be able to cope with what is happening. I think to myself “get a grip.” I have thought that she has been so unreasonable in her fear. Hello! I have no clue what she is going through.

All I have been thinking is that she needs to trust God more (which may be true) but what kind of friend have I been? Christians are supposed to be willing to give up anything for Jesus, which many probably are. How many of us actually face that and are able to do it? I have never had to give up the most precious thing in my earthly life and in the same breath still be able to praise God. I am reminded of Southbrook member Kitty Hinkle speaking of how her husband’s death this summer actually brought her closer to God. Wow, that is amazing!

The more I think other people need to change (usually to make my life easier), the more God points out that it is I that needs to change. Instead of my friend needing to change her perspective, God has shown me that I need to be more compassionate to her and people in general.

If someone …sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? 1 John 3:17

Don’t forget to check out Pastor Rob’s Blog

My Sin keeps Chasing Me…

2007-10-15T08:56:00.000-04:00

How quickly we forget what it can really feel like to wrestle with sin. We might have bad habits that we work on, or ongoing prayer for spiritual growth and discipline. But when you are going about your journey and things are pretty ok, then WHAM- you get caught up in sin that is so poisonous and so harming. It’s like a Jekyll and Hyde moment. Was that really me? Did I just do that? (Yes, and you’re not the only one to have noticed.) Ouch!

I would like to be able to flee specific situations that might cause me to sin, but I can’t. It is not a cop out, I really can’t. I have given Satan a foothold in my mind and know I’m really in trouble. I want to go and hide, but my “sin” will keep calling me. Holy Spirit, I need so much help! This is not something I can overcome on my own. I need strength to resist the temptation to be mean, to speak unkindly, and to be un-Christ-like.

So I have decided to become mute. That is the most prudent course of action at this time. Wait, that’s only going to last about 5 seconds. Prayer was the good ol’ back up plan- I should go with that. OK, not talking is the new back up plan.

I am so glad that I have other people to help with this situation. That’s what my small group is there for. Yes, we do Bible study, and yes, we pray. The real purpose of our group is that we are doing life together. We share ups and downs, dinners and movies, and most importantly we share praises and prayers. If it was just me, I could cover up the sin and keep going. But with other people watching my spiritual back, I can be open about my struggle. I know that they will help keep me accountable and pray for me during the process.

From Ephesians 6
Verse 10- A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

Pastor Geoffrey strikes again!

2007-10-05T12:50:00.000-04:00

This week's Wed. night service was awesome. Geoffrey has been going through 1 Peter for a while now, and I really like how slow and in depth his teaching is. Specifically, we were in chapter 4, verses 1-6. The passage talks about living for God and struggling with sin. What a great topic- never gets old, everyone needs to apply the ideas in his/her own life. It was even more poignant because just the night before, my small group had been studying Romans chapter 7 verses 14-25. Both talk of being dead to sin, yet continuing to sin. It took me a few re-reads to get it crystal clear in the ol’ noggin. If we have died to our own sinful ways, why does Paul say “I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is a power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.”? Paul had just said in chapter 6 that we are now slaves to God… I’ll keep reading both books.

Geoffrey also pointed out that we need to humble ourselves before God, and to recognize and admit our sin (He knows anyway, right?). Many of us have read or heard Psalm 139 where it says “search me God and know my heart… point out anything that offends you.” That’s just the first part of what we have to do in our struggle with sin. The next step is to allow God to break you of that sin, to really give it to Him. That’s the part I really have a hard time with. I can pray and pray, but when I actually have to surrender it to Him, I realize I’ve got the death grip and I don’t want to let go. I’ve been holding, hiding, excusing, and living in it so long, it will be like a part of me will be missing (never mind that it would be a good thing to loose).

Pastor Geoffrey told us 5 aspects of overcoming sin:

1) COMMITMENT- to say no
2) REPEAT frequently- identify sin patterns, then replace them with something else
3) make NO EXCEPTIONS- not one time
4) be DILLIGENT in all areas and
5) DON”T BE DISCOURAGED- we all mess up; put sin back at the cross and Jesus back on the throne of your life.

We need to protect ourselves as a soldier going into battle. How?
PRAYER & BIBLE STUDY!

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

Check out Pastor Rob’s blog- if your mind is not already too blown away by my awesome relaying of Pastor Geoffrey’s message…

Thought of the Day-It's a Mind Bender

2007-09-25T07:28:00.000-04:00

"If you want to be like Christ,
you have to be like Christ."
-Bob Pace

People Let Us Down

2007-09-24T08:30:00.000-04:00

Why do we feel so disappointed when people don’t live up to the expectations we have for them?

I heard a story this weekend about this very subject. Unfortunately, I was not there to see this “fall from grace”, so I only got the facts second hand. Basically, this person acted according their sinful nature. But I had placed this person under a microscope a while ago, and was subconsciously waiting for him/her to slip up. Isn’t that terrible? It was sport for me, in a way.

Looking back, I didn’t realize how much of a hater I was being (judgmental, critical, slanderous, etc.) My rationalization was that this person, being in a leadership role, should be acting close to perfect all the time. That’s fair, right?

Did I stop to think what might be going in his/her life? No. I was busy being shocked at how they had acted. I realize now, of course, that the person is just like me- a work in progress. It reminds me of watching my students do a drawing. Sometimes you make some good progress, it’s coming along well. I might notice that something doesn’t look right and needs to be fixed. But in order to fix what’s wrong, they have to go in with a big eraser and you will probably mess up part of what is good. Is it worth it to correct what is wrong if you might disturb other parts of what’s there? Yes! *If you build on something that isn’t right, it can get better, but the drawing will have a fundamental flaw. It can only be so good. Something I tell my students is that if you have done it once, you can do it again. Correct the problem and redo what was good from the beginning. (Not the best analogy, but it makes sense to me.)

*People are the same way. That’s why we need forgiveness- the biggest eraser of what’s wrong. Jesus died for all of us- teachers, car salesmen, pastors, landscapers, people that accept Jesus, and people that don’t.

I also know that when you step out in faith to do something for God’s kingdom, it makes you a bigger target for Satan to try to take down. I experienced this in my own life a couple of weeks ago. (Brokenness anyone?) I realize too that people probably put me under a microscope. Am I living a life that, as a Christ follower, other people can look too as an example? Obviously not. What kind of example is that to the people in my small group? While I was judging someone else’s spiritual journey, I was taking 2 steps back in my own.

So, what do we do when people let us down? The same thing Jesus does for us- forgive us our sins, love us where we are at, and extend us His grace.

Finding Joy

2007-09-20T09:31:00.000-04:00

This week at Bible study we were reading in Romans chapter 5. One of our warm up questions asked us to recall when we have experienced joy in the last 2 months. Most of us were at a loss to answer the question. Two of us mentioned feeling joy when out of town family visited, but that was about it. We were such a sorry bunch that we couldn’t recall experiencing true joy. Then we remembered that a member of our group accepted Christ and got baptized recently. There’s one to write down. What else…hmm… (I had already set the tone for the evening by going back into our previous week’s study and asking the big whammy question “What area of your life are you struggling in that you need to trust God and have faith?” That shut everyone right up. Even I didn’t really share my big thing. I said some other lesser stuff on my mind.

While I was looking inward to find my joy, I was reminded of what Pastor Rob wrote about this very topic last month. (click here). Our “homework” from our study is to look for joy in our lives, and I am going to look outside of myself for it, starting with verse 2 in Romans chapter 5-

Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

My very first blog!

2007-09-15T15:11:00.000-04:00

Hey everybody, especially the Encounter team at Southbrook church!

I set this up with Jay’s help in 15 min. after the Saturday meeting. I think I’m going to like this a little too much… I could never be the masterful and wise blogger that Pastor Rob is, but I’ve got to try

See you all at the SALT meeting tonight at church-8pm. J